WackyWeirdWonderful.Bestsnippets.Com

Happy 4th of July!!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:50:20 -0400

Happy 4th of July!!: click for fireworks

Anyone like tennis?

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 16:05:00 -0400

Keep an open mind in all facets of your life

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:45:12 -0400

Bugatti Veyron wallpapers

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:48:05 -0400

Bugatti Veyron wallpapers

Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe's postage stamp

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:16:00 -0400

Zimbabwe postal service has introduced a new stamp with a picture of Robert Mugabe in honor of his achievements. In daily use it has been shown that the stamp is not sticking to envelopes. This has enraged the president who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing a special presidential commission has come out with the following findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
3. People are just spitting on the wrong side.

An Essential Management Course - In Five Minutes

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:42:00 -0400

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Gas costing too much for a trip to Disneyland or Six Flags? Try...

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:55:45 -0400

Gas costing too much for a trip to Disneyland or Six Flags? Try this home rollercoaster.

What Life is All About

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:34:00 -0400

What Life is All About

IKEA assembly instructions

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:24:00 -0400

Anyone who buys furniture from IKEA has experienced these feelings.

Best Butt Ads

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:06:00 -0400

Ads that are effective are created without fear of political correctness.

Ché, a men’s magazine from Belgium.

Innocent brand fruit smoothie.

Peugeot 206 HDi coupe.

Love horror movies? For some of the best visit horror attic.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:00:00 -0400

Love horror movies? For some of the best visit horror attic.

Girls, what would we do without them?

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:18:36 -0400

Nice girl t-shirt

Confession

The incredible power of makeup

You Can Let Go - Crystal Shawanda (very touching)Have a happy...

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 10:02:49 -0400

You Can Let Go - Crystal Shawanda (very touching)

Have a happy Father’s day, everybody.

Boys will be boys

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:52:00 -0400

The new U.S. $5 banknote, redesigned for the new economy.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:08:00 -0400

The new U.S. $5 banknote, redesigned for the new economy.

It’s Friiiiiiiiiiiiday!!!!!TGIF to all our visitors. Hope...

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:25:00 -0400

It’s Friiiiiiiiiiiiday!!!!!

TGIF to all our visitors. Hope your Friday the 13th is memorable.

Weather forecasting stone

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:49:00 -0400

Weather forecasting stone

Where are they now?

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:08:00 -0400

Alfred E. Newman

Should President George W. Bush be impeached?

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:42:00 -0400

Should President George W. Bush be impeached?

In addition to the Apple iPhone 3G, Steve Jobs also presented...

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:02:00 -0400

In addition to the Apple iPhone 3G, Steve Jobs also presented its newest iProduct, the iRack. (Funny political statement)